random tuesday . . .

It feels like it should be Friday . . . it is only Tuesday.

It has been a hectic, chaotic . . . yet great day so far.

I am in the kind of mood that I like to be in . . . I should probably warn my family.

new coffee mug!

I honestly don’t think my mind is ever completely at rest . . . maybe when I am asleep, but even then I wake up with so many ideas flying through my head . . . and for some reason lately I have been having the most vivid dreams, so maybe my mind isn’t even at rest when I am asleep.   I don’t mind and since I have always been this way I guess I am used to it . . . and they are such “great ideas” that keep me motivated and keep me doing the things that I love to do.  What I don’t like is when I have to pay more attention to the “must do” type of things . . . instead of the more fun “I want to do and make and create and just do whatever I want to do when I want to do it” type of things. 

Being a responsible adult for some time now - I have lived my life keeping all the “stuff” in my head in order, doing the “must dos” because why? . . . because I am a responsible adult and “I must”.  I do find time to do the “fun” stuff . . . when I can.  Let me also add that I am a nurturer and tend to take care of everyone else before myself.  I think this is a good quality and simply part of who I am as a wife and mother, but I do think it got out of balance at one point.  I have taken steps to get the balance back . . . but there seems to be something else stirring in me . . .

If I handled this in an over the top, extreme way like I sometimes feel like doing . . .  I would once again throw everything out of balance. 

I would . . . 

. . . quit my job

. . . pack up and move somewhere I have never lived before – maybe Arizona or San Francisco or maybe Maine (wait it gets cold in Maine).

. . . buy a barn or warehouse and turn it into my home

. . . dye my hair purple (wait . . . I did this last summer) . . . ok - I would add some turquoise and maybe dreads

. . . I would live every day in flip flops, stay up all night, wander whenever I felt like it,  have omelets and beer for breakfast every so often – or maybe cake and champagne,  I would work in a bakery . . . just so I could wear a cute apron and sell pretty cupcakes . . . or maybe a used book store . . .

It isn’t that I don’t love my life . . . I do and I cannot imagine leaving it or the people in it . . . but like I said – something is stirring.  So I am finding a new balance that works for me . . . and as a responsible adult I know this can be done without quitting my job or convincing Richard to turn a barn into our home.  (I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to convince him to have omelets and beer for breakfast once in awhile.)

So . . .  I have some ideas . . .  (lots of ideas!!!)

The only thing is when these moods hit me and I start doing “crazy” things . . . the people I love don’t always like what I do or it inconveniences them  . . . and I am sometimes met with a little attitude and/or judgement.  I guess where the balance comes in is when I don’t let that influence me . . . and do what is good for me. 

I saw a coffee mug on Pinterest awhile back that I liked . . . Jennifer made me one just like it and surprised me with it this morning . . . which is what sort of got me thinking about the idea for this post.  It may seem a little rude . . . but it isn’t meant to be.  It is just a reminder that there are times I just need to do the things I need to do for me . . .  and everyone can just “shut up.”  

photo challenge 1/31/16 . . . self

Just be yourself.  

Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, 

quirky, weird, beautiful, and magical person that you are.

 My final post for my January Photo Challenge.  It has been fun and gave my creative side the little bit of a kick start that it needed.  I like messing around with photo collages . . . just a simple one of me and some of the things that I like.  Clare, Sis, Mom, Planet, Clare Helen, Amma  . . . whatever name I go by - it's still me.  From baby to nearly 57 years old - it's still me.  

I've changed a lot over the years - its' still me.  

Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder where that young person went . . . but it's still me. 

 I can say I lost myself a few times along the way . . . but not for long.  

I have learned that I have to be true to myself . . . 

I just have to be me.

Clarehelen . . .

. . . with Gramma Green, Grandma Kubicek, and Mrs. Kleespie (Grandma the III as she used to call herself)

Today is the last day of Sweet November Photo Challenge . . . and today's prompt is "you" . . . as in me.  That's an easy one and a tough one . . .

There is no possible way to jot down a few words and describe someone.  I am simple and yet I am complicated . . . I am strong and yet there are times I just want to give up . . . I am outgoing and yet there are times when I find myself feeling quiet and want nothing else but to be by myself . . . I am one of the silliest people ever - yet I am way too serious and think way too much.   I guess I am a mess of contradictions.  (it's no wonder my husband just smiles and shakes his head at me sometimes - I don't think he will ever figure me out)  What I do know and what is always constant are the values and beliefs that I was raised with . . . and my faith and I am so thankful to have those things.  When I look at this picture - I like to think that these three women would be proud of who I am. 

101 Things I Like

1. Buttons
2. Halloween
3. Patchouli Oil
4. Lip Balm
5. Clothes Lines
6. Coffee Mugs
7. Fireflies
8. Thunderstorms
9. Pink Feather Boas
10. Rag Dolls
11. Old Bottles
12. Antique Door Knobs
13. Hats
14. Old Churches
15. Cemetaries
16. Wine Glasses
17. Body Butter
18. Polka Dots
19. Dr. Pepper
20. Fabric
21. Painted Toenails
22. Book Stores
23. Bags
24. Snowmen
25. Farmer's Markets
26. Movies
27. Rainy Days
28. Wooden Spools
29. Postcards
30. Journals
31. Hydragenas
32. Books
33. Umbrellas
34. Magazines
35. Sunflowers
36. Champagne
37. Flip Flops
38. Quilts
39. Ribbon
40. Composition Books
41. Scarves
42. Night Lights
43. Cigar Boxes
44. Sharpie Markers
45. Lists
46. Cold Beer
47. Peanut Butter
48. Hot Tea
49. Chop Sticks
50. Antique Stores
51. French Doors
52. Embroidered Pillow Cases
53. Sun Bathing
54. Sea Shells
55. Glitter
56. Old Sheet Music
57. Butterscotch Pie
58. Oversized Sweathshirts
59. Wine Labels
60. Pink Christmas Ornaments
61. Sugar Cookies
62. Hammocks
63. Secret Pals
64. Curling Ribbon
65. Beach Towels
66. Gel Pens
67. Samplers
68. Porches
69. Paper Cones
70. Pin Cushions
71. Corks
72. Porch Swings
73. Costumes
74. Text Messages
75. Camp Fires
76. Tea Lights
77. Incense
78. Old Hankies
79. Charm Bracelets
80. Throw Rugs
81. Photographs
82. Apothecary Jars
83. Stars
84. Christmas Stockings
85. Rubber Stamps
86. Casseroles
87. Amethyest
88. Blue Jeans
89. Yarn
90. Winged Hearts
91. Sushi
92. Coffee
93. Baseball
94. Iowa
95. Rosaries
96. Stickers
97. Crossword Puzzles
98. Reruns of MASH
99. Breakfast Burritos
100. Perfume
101. Cigars

Trying a Different Color

I dyed my hair a couple weeks ago. I have always wanted to try red hair - but I had gotten so blonde - that Nancy told me if I dyed it red it would probably turn pink. So she dyed it brown with the idea in mind that I could always put highlights back in it if I didn't like it - and if I still wanted to I could go red next time. It turned out sort of red anyway. Not quite the color I was thinking - and it took a little getting used to - but I like it. What I don't like is all the gray as it grows out - but I have to live with that.
"There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine." ~ P.G. Wodehouse