Yesterday was my 3 month appointment with my dermatologist. I am now waiting on the results of 4 more biopsies. So I will worry again until I get the results. I really try not to worry - but seem to anyway. I don't even know if worry is the right word to use. It is more like melanoma is always floating around somewhere in my thoughts - so when I have a biopsy- it brings it all back again. I was shocked the day I got the call that they had found melanoma - I never expected to hear that. (I guess no one ever does) But now - I know that it could happen again. I guess I have read too many stories where someone is diagnosed with melanoma and they are told that all of it was removed and it hasn't spread - then later - they find themselves dealing with this disease all over again.
People tell me to quit reading so much about it. . . and maybe I should, but I read someones blog this morning - who talked about the same worries that I have - and it made me realize that it helps me to talk about my worries and concerns and that the more I read and get information and answers - the more it helps me. My dermatologist is wonderful and takes the time to answer all of my questions and explains exactly why she biopsies something. I do hope one day to go to an appointment without her taking a piece of me for testing - but I appreciate that she takes it serious enough to check everything.
I know my personality - I'm going to worry sometimes . . . So I may as well educate myself on this disease - and in the process I read people's stories and see how strong and amazing they are. My prayers go out to them.
I don't think you ever get over the shock of finding out that there's something wrong. I know I walked around in a haze from the time they told me they found I had uterine cancer until after the surgery and wait for the tests results and staging. They took just about everything from me and I was lucky to be in Stage 1, yet I have to have pap tests every 6 months and relive the whole process every time that appointment comes around. You're lucky to have found information and shared circumstances to keep you in a positive mode. And your doctor sounds wonderful. It helps, I know.
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