happy new year . . .

I love new beginnings . . . big or small.

I love starting a new school year at work . . . using a new journal . . . moving into a new house.  (I haven't done this in years, but the first few years of our marriage - Richard was in the Navy - so we moved often).  I always liked unpacking and making a new place our home.  He accuses me of recreating this feeling on a regular basis by rearranging or redecorating . . . or reorganizing closets just because I get in a mood. He's probably right.  So a NEW YEAR . . . I have to love it - right? . . . I do, but to be honest this New Year hasn't really felt like a new beginning to me.  Maybe because I had my mom visiting me for a couple of months and I had to say good bye to her . . . and right after that I got sick.
 . . . or maybe some years are just like that.  

So I find myself 17 days into this year without the usual feeling of a new beginning. 

A few years back I started choosing a “Word for the Year”.

Now that I am feeling better, maybe that is a good place to start my new year . . . choosing a new word. 

Last year I chose the word FAITH.  I was feeling like I needed to worry less . . . and let my faith get me through things.  It may have been a case of “be careful what you wish for” 
. . . because I definitely had to draw on my faith.

I watched my son deal with some things in his personal life which hurt him and tested him.  I am happy to say he got through it and because of his own faith he keeps moving forward.  It is hard for me to watch my children hurt – even if they are adults and I know that life can be hard and I know they will get through it and life will eventually get better for them again.  Sometimes all I can do is love them, let them know that I am there if they need me, and pray!  I prayed a lot last year!

Then there was Richard.  A few years ago he was diagnosed with throat cancer.  Unfortunately he had a recurrence this past year . . . and according to his doctor, “It came back with a vengeance.”  
Did I mention I prayed a lot last year!

Two rounds of chemo and 45 radiation treatments later . . . beardless, weighing 30 pounds less, and not being able to taste anything . . . he made it through that.  His scans continue to come back clean and we are thankful each and every time they do.  His strength and determination through his treatments was amazing.  He has gotten a little wacko since his treatments ended . . . we are dealing with that.  I am finding that the hardest thing about dealing with him having cancer has come after the treatments.  This seems to be true for both of us.  Life can be hard and I know we will get through it and life will eventually be better again . . . WAIT!!  Life is better again!

Let’s see . . . after that Richard tore his rotator cuff and had to have surgery.  In light of the cancer – this seemed like a small thing, but it is has been a little trying not having him able to do the things he normally does.  It was during this recovery that he made the comment that he hopes this next year is better than this past year.  I have to agree, but . . . This past year ended with Richard being cancer free, we have a beautiful new granddaughter, his beard grew back, I have amazing children and grandchildren who I see regularly, and in spite of whatever life throws at me I have a faith that gets me through.  Now more than ever I realize we have to celebrate the good days and love each other through the bad ones. 

So my word for next year . . .

CHANGE

I have some very personal reasons for choosing that word . . . and if I get in the right mood I may just tell you all about them.