Tuesday, February 23, 2016

new coffee mug!

I honestly don’t think my mind is ever completely at rest . . . maybe when I am asleep, but even then I wake up with so many ideas flying through my head . . . and for some reason lately I have been having the most vivid dreams, so maybe my mind isn’t even at rest when I am asleep.   I don’t mind and since I have always been this way I guess I am used to it . . . and they are such “great ideas” that keep me motivated and keep me doing the things that I love to do.  What I don’t like is when I have to pay more attention to the “must do” type of things . . . instead of the more fun “I want to do and make and create and just do whatever I want to do when I want to do it” type of things. 
Being a responsible adult for some time now - I have lived my life keeping all the “stuff” in my head in order, doing the “must dos” because why? . . . because I am a responsible adult and “I must”.  I do find time to do the “fun” stuff . . . when I can.  Let me also add that I am a nurturer and tend to take care of everyone else before myself.  I think this is a good quality and simply part of who I am as a wife and mother, but I do think it got out of balance at one point.  I have taken steps to get the balance back . . . but there seems to be something else stirring in me . . .
If I handled this in an over the top, extreme way like I sometimes feel like doing . . .  I would once again throw everything out of balance. 
I would . . . 

. . . quit my job
. . . pack up and move somewhere I have never lived before – maybe Arizona or San Francisco or maybe Maine (wait it gets cold in Maine).
. . . buy a barn or warehouse and turn it into my home
. . . dye my hair purple (wait . . . I did this last summer) . . . ok - I would add some turquoise and maybe dreads
. . . I would live every day in flip flops, stay up all night, wander whenever I felt like it,  have omelets and beer for breakfast every so often – or maybe cake and champagne,  I would work in a bakery . . . just so I could wear a cute apron and sell pretty cupcakes . . . or maybe a used book store . . .

It isn’t that I don’t love my life . . . I do and I cannot imagine leaving it or the people in it . . . but like I said – something is stirring.  So I am finding a new balance that works for me . . . and as a responsible adult I know this can be done without quitting my job or convincing Richard to turn a barn into our home.  (I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to convince him to have omelets and beer for breakfast once in awhile.)
So . . .  I have some ideas . . .  (lots of ideas!!!)
The only thing is when these moods hit me and I start doing “crazy” things . . . the people I love don’t always like what I do or it inconveniences them  . . . and I am sometimes met with a little attitude and/or judgement.  I guess where the balance comes in is when I don’t let that influence me . . . and do what is good for me. 

I saw a coffee mug on Pinterest awhile back that I liked . . . Jennifer made me one just like it and surprised me with it this morning . . . which is what sort of got me thinking about the idea for this post.  It may seem a little rude . . . but it isn’t meant to be.  It is just a reminder that there are times I just need to do the things I need to do for me . . .  and everyone can just “shut up.”  

3 comments:

  1. AMEN SISTER!!! 4 years ago I did up and quit my job with out even discussing it with anybody. It was 3 days before my husband realized I wasn't going to work everyday...LOL!! Of course the kids gave me the BOO!! But I have not regretted it once!

    Living in central California...inland, not at the beach (darn it) we have two seasons....flip flops and tennis shoes, all others are just accessories. I highly advise it, as apposed to snow drifts....*grin*

    I like the barn idea.....but I am very alone on THAT idea.

    I'll skip the hair color....took me years just to quit coloring it.....although adding some colorful streaks has been skipping around in my head.....and that would blow my family's minds!

    I dream of living someplace else, and could be packed in a matter of hours, but don't get me wrong I like being in California.....most of the time, and our family is here. 2 hours east and we are in the mountains, and 2 hours west and we are a the beach, 2 hours south and we are in Los Angeles (not my favorite place) So our location is pretty good.

    There ARE days I just don't adult, and that's a fact that my husband and children really don't understand......but the grandkids love it. So I will continue.

    I have came to the conclusion, about 10 years ago, to do WHAT I like and enjoy, as long as it doesn't hurt my family......or break any laws. Cake for breakfast, why not? Breakfast for dinner, why not? Being goofy in public, why not? and so it goes.

    I do like your new cup.....perfect for all occasions!








    ReplyDelete
  2. I guess I can stick with the job so I can get my retirement . . . thank goodness I like it and love the people I work with.
    I don't think I could go back to the snow . . . although it does look pretty when my friends post pictures of it. Since leaving the Midwest I have lived in Florida and California (not to far from where you are actually) . . . and I just do not like cold weather. I even complain about our winters . . . give me the flip flops and 100 degrees.
    We do seem to think alike about some things. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know what you mean. The fun stuff comes last most of the time. The offshoot of that is running out of time. More and more I feel that I'm running out of time to get things done. I look around and know that I have to have more order to my life, but taking time to put it in order means giving up doing a lot of that fun stuff. Then again, if I finally achieved or got closer to the order, maybe I would have more time for the fun stuff. Or at least not feel so guilty when I take time to do those things that are fun. It's a conundrum. I swear I had more time and energy when my kids were smaller/younger, even though we were always on the go, I had the energy to keep up with everything. Then again, I was working as a sub then and had summer's off to catch up. It's been 12 years since I went back to work full time and it feels like I've fallen 12 years behind in so much. I'd love to quit my job, or retire early. That's not going to happen though. So I get in those moods where I just want to get rid of things (and believe me, there's a lot that I should get rid of). And you're right in that weather has a lot to do with that too. I'd love to be able to get out and walk more. You know, I could go on about this, but I won't. Instead I hope you do more of the things that you want to do and not listen to the inner voices that tell you to put yourself last. And keep telling them to "shut up"!

    ReplyDelete