I have always believed in God. Having been raised Catholic - I don't remember a time when I didn't believe in God.
At a young age I remember being thankful that I had my faith in God to get me through the difficult times. I also am pretty sure that I took this faith for granted - to be honest at that young age the difficult times hadn't really been that difficult.
I am not so young anymore - and like anyone I have had my share of the "crap" that life can throw at you. Sometimes it is easier to get through these times than others . . . I sure deal with things better now than I did 15-20 years ago. I believe a positive attitude and my faith in God are what get me through. Richard sometimes teases me, when I start up with my positive attitude speech - that I am from "La-La Land". (he really doesn't mean anything bad by teasing me - just his way. He actually loves my positive attitude and the strength that my faith gives me.)
So . . . where is this going? I was recently diagnosed with malignant melanoma. I was lucky - it has not spread and my doctor was able to remove the melanoma. But . . . after learning that I had melanoma . . . me being me - I had to learn everything I could about it. Little did I know . . .
I have always enjoyed being in the sun and being tan - even knowing that it could be bad for me. I found a way to rationalize being in the sun. How can something that makes me feel so good be bad for me. Being told I had melanoma completely caught me off guard - especially when I learned more about this type of cancer.
I had surgery just about two weeks ago. (my surgeon removed the melanoma and removed 3 lymph nodes in order to determine if the cancer had spread). It was during the week of waiting for the results of my biopsies - that I realized how strong my faith has become.
The past 10-15 years of my life have been full of that "crap" that life can throw at you. I have not always dealt with it the way that I should . . . by turning it over to God. But over the course of those years - I have learned to do just that . . . turn it over to God.
This past year I have faced with some very serious challenges in my life. I chose to deal with those challenges - by sticking by my values- and fighting for what I believe in, by choosing to be happy in spite of my situation, and most importantly by relying on my faith to get me through. So I had all these "Aha moments" - and life was looking pretty good. I had decided that I had spent too much time being unhappy, I had taken control of my life and happiness again.
So a few weeks ago - I make an appointment with a dermatologist. I figure at my age it can't hurt to just have everything checked out. One of the biopsies was sent for a second opinion - it looked questionable? A week later . . . malignant melanoma . . . 5 days later I had an appointment with a surgeon . . . two days later it was removed. Like I said - I was lucky - it had not spread.
I tend to prepare myself for the worst case scenario (can't help it - it is just the way I am. It drives Richard crazy.) So while I was waiting for the results of my biopsies- and thinking "worst case scenario" - I realized how strong my faith has really become. I am not without fear . . . but I will take each day as it comes, I will live life with a positive attitude - and choose to be happy, when life gets difficult - I will pray and turn it over to God, I will rely on the family and friends that God has given me, and I will draw on my faith to get me through.
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