Look and Listen . . .

I have a few daily devotionals.  I can't say I am always good about reading them daily, but when I do they make such a difference.  When I reach for them because I need them . . . they can make all the difference.  I can't tell you how many times I have picked them up when I have been struggling with something and I read that days devotional and it is exactly what I need.  God talks to us . . . we just have to listen.  Today was one of those days . . .

I mentioned in an earlier post that I had to have a CT scan.  I had my appointment with the oncologist today - decided to read this daily devotional this morning . . .

     You wonder if it is a blessing or a curse to have a mind that never rests.  But you would rather be a cynic than a hypocrite, so you continue to pray with one eye open and wonder:

                                     about starving children

                                     about the power of prayer

                                     about Christians in cancer wards . . .

     Tough questions.  Throw-in-the-towel questions.  Questions the disciples must have asked in the storm.  All they could see were black skies as they bounced in the battered boat . . .

     Then a figure came to them walking on the water.  It wasn't what they expected . . . They almost missed seeing the answer to their prayers.

     And unless we look and listen closely, we risk making the same mistake.  God's lights in our dark nights are as numerous as the stars, if only we'll look for them.

This is what I needed to be reminded of today.

  Life isn't always what we expect it is going to be . . . but I know the hardest things that I have had to go through have made me the strongest.  They have made me understand that I have to trust God to take care of things his way . . . that isn't always easy for me - I like knowing what is going to happen and I like some control of my life, but like I said life isn't always what we expect it is going to be . . .  

My CT scan showed that my lungs were clear.  (melanoma tends to spread to the lungs, brain, or liver).  So that was good news.  I also found out today that it can spread to the adrenal glands.  The CT scan showed that I have a nodule on one of my adrenal glands.  It could possibly be benign - but because of the enlarged lymph nodes and the size of the nodule the oncologist is somewhat concerned . . . I really prefer to see my oncologist smiling and nodding - rather than frowning and shaking his head . . . anyway he ordered a PET scan.  I thought I would be having it done in a few days - but thanks to insurance companies needing 5-6 working days to approve things like that I have to wait a little longer.  The good news - I will get more definite answers as to what is going on.  I'm not very good with the waiting part . . . I'm working on that . . . 

So this is one of those times when I have to look for God's lights - and trust in him

 and count the blessing that I have -  EVERY DAY!

and make the most of EVERY DAY!

and be silly, and say I love you, and forgive, and dance and sing,

and see the beauty in everything around me . . . and so much more. 

We think we have so much time . . . but the truth is we never know that for sure.