something to hold onto I think . . .

Luke has been going through boxes that he has had stored in our garage.  He found this the other day.  It was stitched by an old  girlfriend of his.  This friend showed up at our house a few years ago (about three years after they broke up) . . . she was pregnant, homeless, and in trouble with the law.  She lived with us for 6 months until the baby was born . . . she gave the baby up for adoption and I have seen her only one time since then.  To be honest - it was not the easiest 6 months of my life . . . but I do believe it was what was best for that unborn baby. 

 I remember her working on this that winter.  She also did a lot of scrap booking.  I remember watching her stitch one evening and being reminded of the song -  "One of These Things Doesn't Belong" from Sesame Street . . . 

cross-stitch, scrap booking, drugs (one of these things just doesn't belong . . . )

She left our house the week before the baby was born.  I am sad to say that her choices have not improved her life at all.  It is heartbreaking what drugs can do to an otherwise smart, talented, creative young woman, who if had made other choices . . . would have a very different life.  I am thankful she made the right choice regarding her baby.  I have heard that he has wonderful adoptive parents and is happy and healthy.  

So I look at this with mixed feelings.  It is beautifully done, It makes me smile . . . it makes me think of her and her quirky personality . . . and her wild, dyed hair . . . and her intelligence and creativity - and then I get mad.  I get mad at her for not fighting harder . . . for not realizing that there were people who loved her and supported her and wanted to help her - yet she still made the wrong choices.

Then I feel sad . . . for what addiction does to people.  Not just the addict, but also to the people that love them.  I think I will hang onto this . . . frame it and hang it up somewhere where I can see it and be reminded . . . not only of her and what her life could have been, but that it is OK to care and help and reach out even when things . . . and people seem hopeless.  

"No matter how hard the past, 

you can always begin again."

~ Buddha